Friday, May 11, 2012

Show Not Tell - Raining

As I quietly walked through the streets, water was all over the ground. Puddles were everywhere with leaves in them like fallen soldiers. Water poured all over my face dropping off the tip of leaves and onto my hair. The streets were quiet and the sun was still arising, hazy through the mist while rain still fell like being poured out of a watering can. It was cold as Ice but as smooth as silk on my a skin.
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3 comments:

  1. Matthew RMay 14, 2012 at 9:04 AM

    Kia Ora Cruz,
    I like how you used very good detail in your little story.I could definitely tell it was raining, though at the end it does not make sence.Anyway keep up the good work!!

    Matthew R

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  2. HeremaiaMay 16, 2012 at 9:25 AM

    Hi Cruz
    I just want to say that the first time I read it was very detailed and it's just the same this time all on all it was very cool.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Kayde IMay 21, 2012 at 9:05 AM

    Kia Ora Cruz.....
    That is a cool post about your show not tell. I like that you have used amazing words like poured hazy and so much more. And also there are great phrases like smooth as silk. Keep up the good work!

    From Kayde.

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